"Quizz Kid"
music and lyrics by Ian Anderson

Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (1976), Through The Years (1997), Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (remaster) (2002)

Cut along the dotted line
Slip in and seal the flap
Postal competition crazy
Though you wear the dunce's cap
Win a fortnight in Ibiza
Line up for the big hand out
You'll never know unless you try
What winning's all about
Be a quizz kid, be a whizz kid
Six days later there's a rush telegram
Drop everything and telephone
This number if you can
It's a free trip down to London
For a weekend of high life
They'll wine you, dine you, undermine you
Better not bring the wife
Be a quizz kid, be a whizz kid
It's a try out for a quizz show
That millions watch each week
Following the fate and fortunes
Of contestants as they speak
Answerable to everyone
Responsible to all, publicity dissected
Brain cells splattered on the walls
Of encyclopaedic knowledge
May be barbaric but it's fun
As the clock ticks away a lifetime
Hold your head up to the gun
Of a million cathode ray tubes
Aimed at your tiny skull
May you find sweet inspiration
May your memory not be dull
May you rise to dizzy success
May your wit be quick and strong
May you constantly amaze us
May your answers not be wrong
May your head be on your shoulders
May your tongue be in your cheek
And most of all we pray
That you may come back next week
Be a quizz kid, be a whizz kid

"Crazed Institution"
music and lyrics by Ian Anderson

Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (1976), Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (remaster) (2002)

Just a little touch of make-up
Just a little touch of bull
Just a little 3-chord trick
Embedded in your platform soul
You can wear a gold Piaget
On your Semaphore wrist
You can dance the old adage
With a dapper new twist
And you can ring a crown of roses
Round your cranium
Live and die upon your cross of platinum
Join the crazed institution of the stars
Be the man that you think (know) you really are
Crawl inside your major triad
Curl up and laugh as your agent scores
Another front page photograph
Is it them or is it you
Throwing dice inside the loo
Awaiting someone else to pull the chain
Well grab the old bog-handle
Hold your breath and light a candle
Clear your throat and pray for rain to irrigate
The corridors that echo in your brain
Filled with empty nothingness
Empty hunger pains
And you can ring a crown of roses
Round your cranium
Live and die upon your cross of platinum
Join the crazed institution of the stars
Be the man that you think (know) you really are

"Salamander"
music and lyrics by Ian Anderson

Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (1976), 20 Years Of Jethro Tull: II. Flawed Gems (Dusted Down) and The Other Sides Of Tull (1988), Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (remaster) (2002), The Best of Acoustic Jethro Tull (2007)

Salamander, born in the sun-kissed flame
Who was it lit your candle
Branded you with your name?
I see you walking by my window
In your Kensington haze, Salamander
Burn for me and I'll burn for you

"Taxi Grab"
music and lyrics by Ian Anderson

Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (1976), Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (remaster) (2002)

Shake a leg, it's the big rush
Can't find a taxi can't find a bus
Bodies jammed in the underground
Evacuating London town
Nowhere to put your feet
As the big store shoppers
And the pavements meet
Red lights, pin stripes
Short step shuffle into the night
Tea time calls, the Bingo Halls
Open at seven in the old front stalls
How about a Taxi Grab
There's an empty cab by the taxi stand
Driver's in the café washing his hands
Big diesel idles, the keys inside
C'mon Sally let's take a ride
Flag down, uptown, no sweat
For rush hour travel, it's the best bet yet
Taxi Grab

"From A Dead Beat To An Old Greaser"
music and lyrics by Ian Anderson

Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (1976), A Little Light Music (1992), Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (remaster) (2002)

From a dead beat to an old greaser
Here's thinking of you
You won't remember the long nights
Coffee bars, black tights and white thighs
In shop windows where blonde assistants
Fully-fashioned a world made of dummies
(With no mummies or daddies to reject them)
When bombs were banned every Sunday
And the Shadows played F.B.I.
And tired young sax-players
Sold their instruments of torture
Sat in the station sharing wet dreams
Of Charlie Parker, Jack Kerouac
Renee Magritte, to name a few
Of the heroes who were too wise
For their own good
Left the young brood
To go on living without them
Old queers with young faces
Who remember your name
Though you're a dead beat with tired feet
Two ends that don't meet
To a dead beat from an old greaser
Think you must have me all wrong
I didn't care, friend, I wasn't there, friend
If it's the price of pint that you need
Ask me again

"Bad-Eyed N' Loveless"
music and lyrics by Ian Anderson

Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (1976), Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (remaster) (2002)

Yes 'n she's bad-eyed and she's loveless
A young man's fancy and an old man's dream
I'm self raising and I flower in her company
Give me no sugar without her cream
She's a warm fart at Christmas
She's a breath of champagne
On sparkling night
Yes 'n she's bad-eyed and she's loveless
Turns other women to envious green
Yes 'n she's bad-eyed and she's loveless
She's a young man's vision
In my old man's dream

"Big Dipper"
music and lyrics by Ian Anderson

Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (1976), Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (remaster) (2002)

The mist rolls off the beaches
The train rolls into the station
Weekend-happiness seekers
Pent-up saturation
Well, we don't mean anyone any harm
We weren't on the Glasgow train
See you at the Pleasure Beach
Roller-coasting heroes
Big Dipper riding
We'll give the local lads a hiding
If they keep us from the ladies
Hanging out in the penny arcades
Shaking up the Tower Ballroom
Throwing up in the bathroom
Landlady's in the backroom
I'm the Big Dipper, it's the weekend rage
Rich widowed landlady
Give me your spare front door key
If you're 39 or over
I'll make love to you next Thursday
I may stay over for a week or two
Drop a postcard to my mum
I'll see you at the waltzer
We'll go big-dipping daily

"Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young to Die"
music and lyrics by Ian Anderson

Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (1976), Repeat: The Best of Jethro Tull Vol. II (1977), Live: Bursting Out (1978), Original Masters (1985), A Classic Case (1985), Live At Hammersmith '84 (1990), A Little Light Music (1992), 25th Anniversary Boxed Set: Remixed Classic Songs (1993), The Best of Jethro Tull: The Anniversary Collection (1993), 36 Greatest Hits (1998), The Very Best of Jethro Tull (2001), Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (remaster) (2002), Live: Bursting Out (remaster) (2004), 'A' (remaster) (2004)

The old Rocker wore his hair too long
Wore his trouser cuffs too tight
Unfashionable to the end
Drank his ale too light
Death's head belt buckle, yesterday's dreams
The transport caf' prophet of doom
Ringing no change in his double-sewn seams
In his post-war-babe gloom
Now he's too old to Rock'n'Roll
But he's too young to die
He once owned a Harley Davidson
And a Triumph Bonneville
Counted his friends in burned-out spark plugs
And prays that he always will
But he's the last of the blue blood
Greaser boys all of his mates are doing time
Married with three kids up by the ring road
Sold their souls straight down the line
And some of them own little sports cars
And meet at the tennis club do's
For drinks on a Sunday, work on Monday
They've thrown away their blue suede shoes
Now they're too old to Rock'n'Roll
And they're too young to die
So the old Rocker gets out his bike
To make a ton before he takes his leave
Up on the A1 by Scotch Corner
Just like it used to be
And as he flies, tears in his eyes
His wind-whipped words echo the final take
And he hits the trunk road doing around 120
With no room left to brake
And he was too old to Rock'n'Roll
But he was too young to die, no
You're never too old to Rock'n'Roll
If you're too young to die

"Pied Piper"
music and lyrics by Ian Anderson

Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (1976), Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (remaster) (2002)

Now if you think Ray blew it
There was nothing to it
They patched him up as good as new
You can see him every day
Riding down the queen's highway
Handing out his small cigars
To the kids from school
And all the little girls
With their bleached blond curls
Clump up on their platform soles
And they say 'Hey Ray, let's ride away
Downtown where we can roll some alley bowls'
And Ray grins from ear to here, and whispers
So follow me, trail along
My leather jacket's buttoned up
And my four-stroke song will pick you up
When your last class ends
And you can tell all your friends
The Pied Piper pulled you
The mad biker fooled you
I'll do what you want to
If you ride with me on a Friday anything goes
So follow me, hold on tight
My school girl fancy's flowing in free flight
I've a tenner in my skin tight jeans
You can touch it if your hands are clean
The Pied Piper pulled you
The mad biker folled you
I'll do what you want to
If you ride with me on a Friday anything goes

"The Chequered Flag (Dead or Alive)"
music and lyrics by Ian Anderson

Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (1976), Too Old To Rock N' Roll: Too Young To Die (remaster) (2002)

The disc brakes drag
The chequered flag sweeps
Across the oil-slick track
The young man's home
Dry as a bone, his helmet off
He waves: the crowd waves back
One lap victory roll, gladiator soul
The taker of the day in winning has to say
Isn't it grand to be playing to the stand
Dead or alive
The sunlight streaks
Through the curtain cracks
Touches the old man where he sleeps
The nurse brings up a cup of tea
Two biscuits and the morning paper mystery
The hard road's end
The white god's-send is nearer everyday
In dying the old man says
Isn't it grand to be playing to the stand
Dead or alive
The still-born child can't feel the rain
As the chequered flag falls once again
The deaf composer completes his final score
He'll never hear the sweet encore
The chequered flag, the bull's red rag
The lemming-hearted hordes
Running ever faster to the shore singing
Isn't it grand to be playing to the stand
Dead or alive